It’s All About Etiquette

Sis Shawnta Harris

Accepting a Gift

Generally, there isn’t anything hard about accepting a gift. You just open it and say “thank you”, right?
But there are some things to remember about your tone and body language. Remember our lesson on
thankfulness? You show good etiquette in the way you accept a gift.

The Bible has a lot to say about the ultimate gift that God gave us, Jesus Christ. Many people know the
verse John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. They hold it up at football games and it is one of the most memorized verses. Let’s slow down and think about it…God gave, but it’s up to us to receive. Every one of us has the freedom to accept the gift of salvation God extended to us. He doesn’t force anyone. And when we accept His gift, we are so grateful because we understand that if it wasn’t for God choice to be good to us, we did not have a chance to earn salvation. Have you decided to accept the gift of your sins being washed from you by the blood of Jesus?

And then there is the gift that Christ sent to be with us, the Holy Spirit. In John 14:26 Jesus says “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” God’s own Spirit can live in you and be with you every moment of everyday! Luke 11:13 says, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to
them that ask Him?”.

Finally, once you have accepted the gift of the Holy Spirit, He will give you spiritual gifts. I Corinthians 12:8-11 explains, “For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; to another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; to another the working of miracles; to another prophesy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tounges; to another the interpretation of tounges: but all theses worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man as he wills”. The Holy Spirit gives you gifts that will help others and He chooses what gift will be yours.

So back to our lesson, accepting a gift. No matter what the gift is, the point is that someone thought enough of you, took the time and effort to choose it for you, and gave it to you with the expectation that the gesture will be appreciated. Gratefulness is always the right response!

How do you accept a gift?

Say “thank you” as soon as you open the gift. Don’t say, “Oh, this really isn’t my color.”

Why?

“Thank you” is the only appropriate response for any gift you receive. You don’t have to lie and say, “Oh, I love fuchsia!” But you do say “Thank you for the pretty sweater, Aunt Tina.”

How do you accept a gift?

Take the time to acknowledge every gift you open when there are many gifts to be opened-at your birthday party, for example. Don’t tear through your gifts like you’re racing against the clock. Don’t go on and on about your favorite gifts and barely acknowledge the others.

Why?

When you are opening your gifts at a party, it is fun for your guests to see what everyone else has brought. While one person may have been able to afford a more expensive gift, or purchased just what you wanted, you don’t want anyone else to feel as though their gift wasn’t good enough for you.
Opening them at a natural pace will allow you to keep the gifts and cards together, which will be important later when you write thank you notes. You can always save a more enthusiastic thank you for the thank you note you will send.

3 Scriptures About Accepting a Gift

1) For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:8

2) For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:17

3) As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
I Peter 4:10

How We Speak

Key Point #1:  Positive Words Change Attitudes.  Words can be sweet and good or sour and hurtful, so we must be careful to use words that are uplifting, good, and positive.  

Key Point #2:  Worship Honors God!  Worship Changes Lives!

Words have the power to worship God and witness to others. Worship is much more than the music we sign. It is an attitude of actions and words that we express every day.  When others see us using words in this way, they learn what God is like and they want to know Him, too. Encouragement and evangelism naturally begin to take place when we tell others about Jesus and what He’s done in our lives, it’s called being a “witness”.   Words used to give God honor and to tell others about His greatness are the most powerful tools on earth.             

Share your witness:

  1. Model Kindness and compassion as Jesus did for others.
  2. Pray for the people you witness to.
  3. Share something that faith or prayer has done in your life.  
  4. Open a conversation about Jesus by saying things such as, “Do you know that Jesus is our very best friend?” or “Isn’t it great that Jesus loves us?”
  5. Share what Jesus’ love, forgiveness, and salvation means.
  6. Do not force others who are not willing to hear about Jesus.  God will get them ready!

Taming the Tongue is Crucial

In James 3:8 the tongue is a “restless evil, full of deadly poison”.  Our words can be used to express love by encouraging and supporting or as a weapon of destruction to cause hurt and trouble. Each person must “tame” his or her tongue and use words in positive ways.  Simple, authentic caring expression are best and last the longest

You Do:

  1. Speak nicely to others.
  2. Use Words that uplift or encourage others.
  3. Be Sincere in what you say.
  4. Try some of these encouraging words or phrases: “You always make me smile” or “I am always her to listen,
  5. Be sure your words match your actions. If you say you are going to help, then be sure to help.
  6. Remember to communicate through your actions; a smile or hug says “I love Your” too!

You Do Not:

  1. Do not call others names.
  2. Do not Gossip about others.
  3. Avoid complaining – Look on the bright side of problems

Our words to others speak volumes.  Wisely chosen words are crucial to the goal of showing good manners, encouraging others, sharing Jesus.  Speaking with acceptable words and kind expressions is valuable preparation for building relationships tomorrow and for deepening relationships with friends today

Words Requires “Self-Control”

The Bible warns us that if we do not have self control, we will be slaves to what controls us. Food, lust, money, our words… God’s Grace Teaching us to say no to ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly*, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Titus 2:12.

Being self-controlled is the foundation for living a life of righteousness and selflessness that reflects Jesus and brings glory to God. We have the power to bring sins under control!

What is Self-Control?

noun

self-control

(noun)

  1. the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations

The tongue has the power of life and death, Proverbs 18:21 teaches us that Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  All Believers are chosen “out of the world” to bear fruit.  The fruit-bearing refers to spiritual virtues, such as the fruit of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23 (love, peace, joy patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) and ‘conversion of others to Christ (Witness).  Godly characteristics do not automatically grow without our diligent (continue) effort to cultivate them.  You have to work at it.

Top Six reasons kids give for swearing or cussing:

  1. Because they’re upset, frustrated or hurt.
  2. To show off for their friends.
  3. To upset others or get attention.
  4. To feel grown-up or “cool”.
  5. Because their family says the words.
  6. They don’t think swearing is rude.

What does the Bible say about: Taming the Tongue?

  • Proverbs 21:23 – Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
  • Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
  • Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
  • James 3:2 – We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
  • Proverbs 12:18 – There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise [is] health.

Always Remember: “Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who Prays.” – S. Kierkegaard

Being Introduced


First impressions count, which is why the way you respond when being introduced to someone, especially an older person, is very important. In our previous lesson on saying thank you, we learned that the Bible tells us “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Your actions will either reflect the glory of God or could be a negative reflection on who you are. With that being said, let’s look at an example of an introduction gone wrong and an introduction done right.
Let’s say your mother has dropped you off at your father’s office so he can take you to soccer practice. You are texting a friend and scrolling through the internet while waiting for him. His boss walks into his office, and your father says, “Diana, this is my daughter Jasmine. Jasmine, this is Mrs. Reid.”
If you stay seated in your chair, barely looking up from your phone, and mumble. “Hello” or even worse, “Hey”, your father‘s boss will remember you as the rude young lady who didn’t know the first this about respect for older people.
If you are introduced, the right thing to do is look at the person you are speaking to and say, “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Reid.” If it seems appropriate to shake hands, you can do so. Wait for that person to extend their hand first, and if they do, offer a firm, not tight, handshake. Smile, make eye contact.
One of the young men in the Bible who was noted as being respectful, wise and leaving a good impression was David. Before he ever became king, he was a young man in King Saul’s court. The Bible says in 1 Samuel 18:14 “And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the Lord was with him.” So be like David; put your best foot forward and let your manners shine to the glory of God!
What do you do when introduced?
Repeat the person’s name to whom you are being introduced.
Why?
Repeating someone’s name back helps you remember their name for future reference.
What do you do when introduced?
Stop what you are doing when your being introduced.
Why?
If someone thinks enough of you to introduce you to someone else, don’t embarrass everyone especially yourself-by acting as if you couldn’t be bothered. 3 Scriptures About Introductions

1) One of the two who heard John speak and followed Jesus was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first findeth his own brother Simon and saith unto him, We have found the Messias” which is, being interpreted, the Christ. And he brought him to Jesus. And when
Jesus beheld him he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone. John 1:40-42

2) And there were certain Greeks among them that came up to worship at the feast: The same came therefore to Philip, which was of Bethsaida of Galilee, and desired him saying, Sir, we would see Jesus. Philip cometh and telleth Andrew: and again Andrew and Philip tell Jesus. John 12:20-22

3) The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come see a man, which told me all the things that ever I did: is this not the Christ? Then they went out of the city and came unto him. John 4:28-30

Manners Always Matter

Key Point: Manners are rules of unselfishness. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor ( 1 Corinthians 10:24 ESV).

Key Point: Manners reflect Jesus Attitudes. To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people(Titus 3:2 ESV).

Manners are a vital part of reflecting Christ to others. As we follow the rule of politeness for our culture and exhibit kind, thoughtful, unselfish behavior, we show people the genuine, sensitive love God have for them.  To exhibit Christ and His love, respect rules that help us act in kind ways with deference toward others.

Saying “Excuse Me”

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.”

Manners are a system of how we speak and act.  When it comes to the vocabulary of good manners, no phrase is more multifunctional or comes in handier than “excuse me”.  You say “please” when asking for something and “thank you” when someone has done something for you or given you something nice.  But “excuse me” has nearly as any uses.  It can be use as a request, as an attention getter, or a type of apology when an apology isn’t necessary but not saying anything would be rude.

If you’re walking down a crowded hall at school and happen to accidentally bump into someone, you say “excuse me.”

 If the two remaining seats together at the movie theater are in the middle of the aisle, as you and your friend squeeze past each person, you should quietly say “excuse me”.

If a group of people are conversating with one another and blocking a doorway you need to go through, you don’t have to wait for them to move on; just say excuse me”.

In general, girls are far more careful than boys about belching at the table, but it happens, and when it does, there is no need to act as if it didn’t. A simple “excuse me” is sufficient.

You Do: Say “excuse me” if you haven’t heard someone said to you and would like them to repeat it.

You Don’t: Say “huh?”

Why: “Huh” sounds as it you are grunting, and you do not grunt unless they are moving heavy objects or involved in an athletic endeavor.

You Do: Say “excuse me” if you need to interrupt someone, even it it’s your own mom on the computer or your dad reading a book.

You Don’t: Fidget, wave your arms around, or sigh dramatically.

Why: Because day excuse me is a perfectly acceptable way to get some-one’s attention.

What does the Bible say about: Good Manners?

Luke 6:31 ESV: And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV : Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

1 Peter 3:8 ESV Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV :Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Romans 12:10 ESV :Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Always Remember: God manners are like a people magnet.  They draw others close.

Sis. Shawnta Harris

Saying “Thank You”

Has this ever happened to you? Your mother comes into your room while you are doing homework, lays your clean, folded laundry on your bed, stands by your desk for about ten seconds, then says, “You’re welcome!” before she stomps out the door. Or your dad drops you off at your friend’s house and as the car door is closing behind you, he shouts, “You’re welcome!” This is not the time to roll your eyes; consider what you have not done that has irritated your mom or dad.

You might have “thank you” down pat when someone gives you something you’ve already asked for, but having good manners also means saying “thank you” after people do something nice when you haven’t asked, or just out of the blue.

Let’s look at What the Bible Says About Thankfulness

Being thankful is a theme throughout the Bible. Psalms 107:1 says “O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever”. And God doesn’t just want us to be good and thankful only to Him. In Matthew 25:34-40, as Jesus taught the people who came to hear Him, He told them this parable:

Also, Jesus tells us “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). If God wants us to do good to those around us, then He certainly wants us to express gratefulness to our family, friends and even those we don’t personally know. By exercising your good manners in telling someone “thank you”, you are pleasing God and representing Him well.

When do you show your thankfulness?
Say “thank you” anytime someone does something nice for you, no matter how well you know them.
Why?
Because family is where good manners begin, not where they end.
When do you show your thankfulness?
Say “thank you” when a teacher compliments your drawing, or the piano teacher remarks kindly on your playing, even if you’re not happy with your drawing or your performance.
Why?
Because rejecting someone’s kind comments on your accomplishment implies they have no taste, and that’s insulting.
When do you show your thankfulness?
Say “thank you” to the person who just made your strawberry-banana smoothie, handed you your change at the market, or gave you a program at the hockey game.
Why?
Because it makes people feel good to know their efforts are appreciated, and why wouldn’t you want to make someone feel good?

5 Scriptures About Thankfulness

  1. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
    1 Thessalonians 5:18
  2. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
    Ephesians 5:20
  3. Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!
    Psalms 105:1
  4. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! be thankful unto him; bless his name!
    Psalms 100:4
  5. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever ye do in word or deed, do in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
    Colossians 3:15-17

Honesty Reveals Our Character

God’s Desire

While your honesty level is a reflection of your character, it is also a way to show your faith. In the Bible, God made honesty one of his commandments. Since God cannot lie, He sets the example for all of His people. It is God’s desire that we follow that example in all that we do.

Exodus 20:16 – “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” (NIV)

Proverbs 16:11 – “The Lord demands accurate scales and balances; he sets the standards for fairness.” (NLT)

Psalm 119:160 – “The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.” (NLT)

Definition you should know

etiquette

: the rules governing the proper way to behave or to do something

character

: one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual This is a side of her character that few people have seen.

attribute

: a quality, character, or characteristic ascribed to someone or something s leadership attributes

reputation

a : overall quality or character as seen or judged by people in general

b : recognition by other people of some characteristic or ability has the reputation of being clever

8 Scriptures About Honesty 

1.  An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.

Proverbs 24:26 

2. The king is pleased with words from righteous lips; he loves those who speak honestly.

Proverbs 16:13

3. Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another.

Leviticus 19:11 NLT

4. Better to have little, with godliness, than to be rich and dishonest.

Proverbs 16:8 NLT

5. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 NLT

6. Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. They will receive the Lord’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their savior.

Psalm 24:4-5 NLT

7. We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable.

2 Corinthians 8:21 NLT

8.  Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.

1 Peter 2:12 NLT

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